Sunlight

The sun is out today.  Even in the height of winter, the Texas sun brings an almost unwanted warmth.  The last few evidences of a two-day rain are quickly vanishing. Only the shaded puddles and soft earth gives testament to the water which had overtaken the landscape a mere twenty-four hours prior.

It's amazing what the sun can do.  Street teams armed to the teeth with heaters and fans would have trouble doing in eight hours what the sun can in two.  Street teams with their toil and work and busied movement whilst the sun simply shines.

It's the beginning of the year and for some this means schedules, lists, and tasks while others merely take on the attitude of "why bother?". Each reasoning within themselves a logical response to the start of a new year.  For with this new year we find that we strain with added gusto and each minor accomplishment has a way of providing a major boost to morale.  We continually sail higher and higher until we merely glide on the winds of previous victory. A slow glide that eases us back into mediocrity so smoothly that we almost don't realize it.

Those who sit in the "why bother?" encampment are those who have tasted sweet victory before, but after a time they found their plateau of comfort. Rather than spend all that effort climbing upwards only to head back down, they've decided to cut the unnecessary and stay where they are.

I find that I dislike the static of my level of comfort and daringly run towards the precipice of my idealistic and perfect self.  Just as Wile E. Coyote could saunter out a few feet on thin air before gravity took sudden hold, I leap and soar for seconds before my untrained wings fail me and a crash takes me low, sometimes lower than before.



It may take awhile, but I hope you find out soon.  Without Him we can do nothing.

Nothing.

It's not that you can't achieve certain accomplishments, but if your achievements don't require His aid then...

Nothing.

Promise yourself that you'll love your friends and family deeper and better, but without accepting His love first we don't have the wherewithal.

Nothing.


You can learn 5 new languages, make twice what you're making, and finally lose that last 15 lbs for good, but did you get to what He wanted to accomplish through you this year?

Nothing


Pray. Seek after Him. Put His goals at the top of the list.

Now you've done something.

I prayed this morning and it was dumb, but the Lord knows this and gives me credit for trying.

I said, "I can't do what you want me to do.  I literally cannot accomplish this.  I haven't the mental fortitude.  If you want me to do this, I will be leaning on you every step of the way."

I think that might be what he had planned all along.



So just as the the earth merely stands in the light of the sun and is changed, we need to realize that if we  merely step into his glory his presence will change us.

Set impossible goals this year.  His impossible goals.



"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD..." Jeremiah 29:11

"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phillippians 4:13

What is Love?

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me, no more."

I heard this song in a commercial a few years back and the chorus has doggedly refused to leave my mind.  It is indeed put to a catchy beat, but there's more than that.  It's a simple commentary on injustice in society and relationships, a cry against our messed up world.




Society's ever deteriorating worldview has kicked the foundation out from under a concept like love.  What importance can love have if it's based off a chemical reaction in the brain and nothing else?  In order to make sense of the inexplicable sometimes it's necessary to describe what we know it isn't.  We see this in the chorus as the songwriter basically says, "I don't know what love is, but it isn't someone trying to cause you pain. it isn't unrestrained malice and ill will."

Have you ever seen someone with a brand-name product that didn't seem quite right? The pair of tennis shoes with the name slightly misspelled or the font not quite right?  Usually these are made by companies who intend to use the good reputation of someone else in order to sell a cheaper and poorly-made product. There are even some consumers who buy these products because they desire the look and reputation more than the product itself.



This concept of buying cheap knockoffs to attain a look or attentions seems as though it was meant to speak to the philosophical aspect of humanity.  We spend our lives buying into cheap ideas and behaviors that only hold up for a short period of time before breaking down and leaving us poorer than we were before with no lasting gain to show for it.  We accept mediocre because it costs far less and reflects the value we have given ourselves internally.



So what exactly is love?


I can tell you what it's not.


It's not hurtful.
It's not cheap.
It won't cost you your integrity.
It isn't based on variables.
It's never about "making a point"



Love is a product that you have to get from the original manufacturer. There's knockoffs everywhere, but you'll find they've sacrificed it's integrity to reduce consumer cost.  However, the real stuff is worth it.  It costs a lot.  It'll cost you time and money.  It will force you to act upon what you say.  It will not be discarded one day and picked up the next.  It will require servant-hood and obedience.

It will last an eternity.
It will give you a happiness that your chemical emotions will envy.
It will be worth it.

John 14:15 "If ye love me, keep my commandments."

Mark 12:29-30 "And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;  Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

Lost in Thought

If you've never read MomentsWithMelinda.blogspot.com, you have cheated yourself.  I would particularly suggest reading the following three, as they were what initially sparked my thoughts recently:

http://momentswithmelinda.blogspot.com/2012/11/single-status.html

http://momentswithmelinda.blogspot.com/2012/11/somewhere-green-singlestatus2.html

http://momentswithmelinda.blogspot.com/2012/11/get-serious-like-crazy-singlestatus3.html

Go. Read. Learn. Now!


...



...



...


Done? Good!

After reading such incredible material, I began to ponder what had been said.  My mind began to wander around the 'what-ifs' and the 'if-onlys'.  Soon, I become lost in thought. (Though, it must be noted that it is quite easy to get lost where one is a stranger.)  Moments of sadness, joy, and insecurity came flooding along as I walked that riverside pathway inside my mind

As time progressed, this chaotic flood of thought slowly unveiled it's own unique pattern and life slowly revealed itself in intricate detail.  From the days of "dating" a girl and losing her number over the summer (I was in Kindergarten, yet I am still ashamed to admit this. On another note, why in the world did I have a girlfriend in Kindergarten?...), to the days of knowing with complete surety that every female was a crazy, basket-case of emotion (I wasn't far off on that one...  Just kidding, just kidding... Well, sort of.).

The pattern?  Every time I had been derailed from my intended path, I had been wrong.  I had been wrong in my priorities, but not necessarily inconsistent in my prayer life.

 I stumbled back with near instant rejection. How could this possibly be true? If you were praying consistently and reading your bible, life may not have always been perfect, but you still did everything correctly, right?

Wrong.

A stone barricade cracked in the distance and a small stream slowly trickled down 'til it reached my feet.  I saw times where I had inadvertently prayed my will instead of His. Times where I gave Him the options I saw and refused to see any other pathway.


These were not just memories, they were an entirely different point of view.

How could I have not seen this before?  I try to be open to different and new, so how had I been blind to what was in front of me?



Your priorities. 














I felt the ground rumble before I heard the noise of the barricade finally giving way. As the torrent swept me off my feet I realized that there was no going back.  It would be impossible to reseal this stream of thought.  I was glad.

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Life is not always what we think it to be.  Sometimes we are thrilled, others we are scared, but we always view life through our own lens.   This does not have to be a bad thing, but it is something that we must constantly concern ourselves with realizing our own bias.

It has been said that our thoughts become our words which become our deeds and eventually leads to our habits and character which determines eternity.  I have found no evidence to dispel this notion, but on the contrary, I believe it is backed by the words of the biblical proverbs.  "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.." 

Therefore, it would seem of utmost importance for us to guard our thoughts.

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Waves softly flow over my feet, sending the grit and sand back into it's depths.  Surrounded by the unfamiliar, I still feel an uncanny sense of deja vu.  Have I been here before?

Welcome back.

This place..surely it's not.. Oh.

A small breeze winds its way through my hair and I walk to my wooden chair.  I can see everything from here.  I cast my gaze upon the remnants of my fallen barricade.  Peeking up from the shallows are a few stones, but the brazen structure which had been determined to hold thought stagnant was now in shambles.

From here, on my island of hindsight, it all began to make sense.  

What a fool I've been!  I had focused so much on the provision, I had overlooked the desires of the provider!  How could I be so stupid?  What was I thi-

Stop.

But.. But I was wrong.  I messed up.

I know.

What's done is done.  Regain your focus and continue.

But, I wasn't perfect.  I wasn't like You.

Agreed.  However, you are forgiven.  I have more for you.  
You will be wrong again.  Don't worry about that, just listen.

Yes, of course.  Whatever your will.  That will I follow.

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Paul said, "Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible."

So being temperate (balanced, moderate) is necessary, not just in somethings, but in all things.

So when God blesses you with a gift, no matter what it is, if we lose our temperance, we lose our way.  That is the special gift of mankind, to take what is perfect and corrupt it with our usage.

This is how we are led to places that we should not be.  We see God's perfect gift and we think, "It's perfect! I could never go wrong with this ever!"  (well, maybe not in quite so many words).  So we accept it, cherish it, and worship it.  We spend our prayer thanking him for our gift and never listening to our further purpose.  Everything has a season and sometimes gifts are not permanent.  Sometimes we're only to use them for a specific purpose or time, and then give them back to His hands.

Everything has a season.  His path is not the only thing necessary. His timing is necessary as well.



Edit/Addendum:

I found this in A.W. Tozer's book, "The Pursuit of God" and I felt like he had described one of the key elements of our ultimate problem when it comes to gifts and priorities.

     Before the Lord God made man upon the earth He first prepared for him by creating a world of useful and pleasant things for his sustenance and delight.  In the Genesis account of the creation these are called simply "things."  They were made for man's uses, but they were meant always to be external to the man and subservient to him.  In the deep heart of the man was a shrine where none but God was worthy to come.  Within him was God; without, a thousand gifts which God had showered upon him.
     But sin has introduced complications and has made those very gifts of God a potential source of ruin to the soul.
     Our woes began when God was forced out of His central shrine and "things" were allowed to enter.  Within the human heart "things" have taken over.  Men have now by nature no peace within their hearts, for God is crowned there no longer, but there in the moral dusk stubborn and aggressive usurpers fight among themselves for first place on the throne.

We are made perfect when we are subject to His will and prioritize our life based on His design.

Messianic Issues

     In college, I had a love-hate relationship with my professors.  They loved to give hateful tests and I loved to write sarcastic (funny) comments in the margins.

     There was a particular morning in which we were given the professors favorite type of test: the pop-quiz. These are the epitome of low, no-good, downright cruel things that teachers simply love to do and that morning my brain had not woken up with the rest of me. After answering the questions within the allotted time period (circa 4 seconds) I wrote a note at the bottom of the page.  "WWJD? He wouldn't give us pop-quizzes!"

     When I received my quiz back a few short days later, I found a note in the midst of the gallons of red ink that my professor had scribbled furiously on my paper. (We won't discuss the grade).  He had simply replied, "I am not the Messiah!"

     In our quest to be Christ-like, it can be easy to become involved in "saving the world."  Especially for the 'bleeding hearts', such as myself, who just want everyone to be their best and would all too willingly sacrifice our own well-being for the sake of another.

Newsflash: Somebody already sacrificed themselves for everyone; You don't have to.





Josh?  Aren't we supposed to help people?  Shouldn't we do that to the best of our ability?


My dear (imaginary) rhetorical friend, you've missed the point.  It's not that we shouldn't help someone, but we need to understand that there is a point where you stop.  Your job is to show them the way to go, not to carry them down the path.

This concept can be viewed as the old proverb says.  "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he will eat everyday."

It feels like you're helping out when you give away your 'fish', but you have only applied a temporary band-aid, not a permanent fix.  (The greater implications are that you deprive yourself and your family of that fish that they needed.)



Now this thought does not mean scale back on your efforts.  By all means, work hard.  At the end of the day, however, you need to have invested in the future, rather than having reacted to the present.



The purpose of the great commission is to lead others to Christ.

You're not the Messiah.  Lead them to Him.

Feel, Don't Think. Use Your Instincts.

     The rough contour of a jawbone gave way to the less definite neck line. The shaggy hair and wild scruff on his throat gave but a glimpse of his wild manner and free nature.  For him, the rules of society were but obtrusive guidelines, principles that gave way when there was no one to enforce them.  The look on his face showed boredom and disinterest; His eyes, however, spoke of anything but apathy.  There were scars in those eyes, where they had once been burned by passion and fire, yet now they seemed to display an uncomfortable belief, strange fire, as if he knew something that had changed his reason for existence.  A force had moved upon him, and it promised to haunt him throughout eternity.

     "Why must you do this?", came the painful cry.  My heart beat faster. I knew what he spoke of.  I knew his anger. I knew the pain that gripped him.  The beat in my chest expanded to include my hands and head.  This was the moment that I hated, yet I had to face.  It was necessary that I confront his lies, for the sake of my own sanity, if nothing else.  I fell to my knees, my body threatening to explode with each pump of blood. 

     "You have nothing for me! You speak nothing but lies!", I yelled, so as to be heard over the dreadful noise that my chest was determined to make.

     "Where is your proof?  You have none because there is none!", he screamed.  I searched my mind for something, so much as a pebble that I could use to throw back at him in retort, but I knew there was nothing to be found.  How can one argue with something that you believe to be true?  Wordlessly I moved on towards my impermanent final solution.  I knew what I wanted to be truth and he was a obstruction to my belief.  My fantasy.

     I gagged him and tied him to a chair.  Once he was silent it was so much easier to think and breathe.  As he flew through the air, struggling for freedom, I thought to myself, "Now what else must I do today?" The river playfully took him under and swept him away as I looked for something trivial to distract myself with. There was so much more to do before he came back, and I knew that he'd be back. That winding river always landed him right where I would intend to cross the stream I would have to replay this scenario yet again.

 

It seemed so heartless and cold, how could I be sure that he would survive?  It was simple.  He is me.

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     My childhood was an utterly normal one.  I had two middle-class parents, a dog, a sister and a brother, while living in the suburbs of DFW.  My parents struggled somewhat to pay the bills and I was oblivious to any kind of troubles except that of a skinned knee.  

     My siblings and I would go to school and then spend our free time doing what any other child would do, from "shooting" passing cars from the rooftop with our toy guns that were "accidently" missing the orange tip, to intricately developed games where we stood on opposite ends of a field and chunked rocks at each other.

     We played hard and we prayed some, would start reading our bibles with that infamous "BREAD" program (achieving all of 23 days before we quit), and listened to dad read bible stories.  We had family prayer and we knew church was important and that Jesus loved us a lot.

     Then came the time known as adolescence when life is turned upside down emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  (and we wonder why those children do nothing but cry all the time).  It was during this time that I began to question the very fiber of life, as any young adult would.  This very natural and healthy process took a significant turn for the worse when I realized that I knew what I believed better than I knew why I believed it.


     How could this be?  Didn't I go to Sunday School for over a decade? Didn't I listen to many sermons during the year?  Challenged by my own attack against myself, I went to the resource that had helped me the most, the place where I found answers to life's most difficult problems.  Google.

     That was one of the least helpful things I've done in my lifetime.  There is so much trash and heresy to be found, I soon realized that I was getting nowhere fast.  So I turned to the real answer book.  I resolved not only to read my bible, but to study it.  How does one do that?  My guess was to read a passage and then think really hard about it.  Somewhat helpful, but I still hadn't found the answers I needed. So I finally mustered up the courage to ask someone.  and someone else.  and someone else.  Until I realized that they all had the rambling speech full of rhetoric with little to no actual information.

     I knew what I believed.  I couldn't find evidence for it.  So I came to the conclusion that my life was simply a battle against what I deduced logically and what I accepted on "faith".  So now you can see the symbolism behind my story at the beginning of this post. This was something that I went through multiple times in a day and eventually led to my spiritual death if you will.

     Because of a lack of understanding, I saw God as unjust, a liar, and evil manipulator.  With this thought planted firmly in my mind, it wasn't long until it made it's way into my heart.  I cried alone to myself, wishing I could intellectually believe the Christian message of hope.  It wasn't until I was alone at church one night when I truly realized the depths to which I had fallen.  When I sat in a bathroom stall and screamed at God using every expletive I could think of.  Surprised at myself, I was slightly taken aback and yet I felt relief from releasing that pent up emotional hurt and rage.  This was my low point, the place that I don't mention because I'm ashamed of how I acted.  Soon, I found myself in an altar, repenting of the evil that had originated from my heart.  This time I was finally able to find a sound teacher and I balanced out.

     Since then I've learned more and more and God has shown me more wonderful things to learn from Him and His Word.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about this point in my life though.  Not a day goes by that I don't remember the feeling of helplessness and all thoughts eventually leading towards rage or apathy.

This.

     This is why I'm burdened to teach.  Not because I've known some of the best and been inspired (although I have).  Not because I'm looking for a profession that pays okay and gives me a feeling of fulfillment (although it would).  Not even because I love teaching in and of itself (although when done correctly, it's one of the most enthralling things on the planet).

     I am burdened to teach because a little boy named Josh cried in hurt and grief without someone there to console him.  I am burdened because the study process isn't just caught, without first being taught.  I'm burdened because somewhere out there, there is another boy or girl who is about ready to give up on their most precious gift because they haven't been taught.  That is why I live.

     Teaching isn't merely done in the classroom, but it is a lifestyle.  Imparting knowledge and wisdom isn't instinctual, but it must be done.  If I don't do it, who will?









Deuteronomy 6:7-9, 20-25


7-9
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.


20-25

And when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the Lord our God hath commanded you?  Then thou shalt say unto thy son, We were Pharaoh's bondmen in Egypt; and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand:  And the Lord shewed signs and wonders, great and sore, upon Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his household, before our eyes:  And he brought us out from thence, that he might bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers.  And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day.  And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the Lord our God, as he hath commanded us.